The Boho Express

Call it the Boho Expressway. The lure of $20 calls young bohos from all over the Northeast Corridor to the City of New York. It’s not as bookish as Boston, or as political as Washington. Its pizza is good, and its streets are numbered.

It’s a quick thrill, a weekend in New York City.

And while you’re in New York’s trains, taxis, and automobiles, you’ll get to hear conversations like these: 


Girl, he still talking about your poofy haiuh? Like three years latuh?  Oh, that’s fucked up.

- Where are you from?
- California.
- No, I mean, where are you from?
- I’m a third generation Californian; I really am from California.
- Oh, well….you smile. People from here don’t smile.
- Where are you from?
- Belize. Well , 125th Street , this is my exit. Veggie burger, you know.
- I’m sorry?
- They have good veggie burgers around here.

- Went to Sundance, man!
- Did you hobknob with the right people?
- (Shy laugh) Yeah, I did.

- O pos, a cierta gente le gusta el ruido de mi guitarra, y a cierta gente no. Tu sabes, ay tengo mi esposa y un nino de 3 anos alli en Queens. Ay gano lo que puedo…

- Samba samba samba samba, whiney, whiney, whiney, whiney!!! (Squeels the Japanese samba instructor in a leopard-print catsuit.)

- Unknown Hebrew word.
- I’m sorry?
- Oh, you’re not Jewish?
- No.
- Oh, that means marriage dates. That phone call was about a marriage date. This time, it’s someone in Israel. How old are you?
- 27.
- You are of the perfect age to get some marriage dates. If you’d like some advice about marriage, ask the Rabbi. Go to, no sorry, dot org. Ask him; he knows! O-h-e-l dot org.

He’s supposed to be the closest person to God. So just write him on the Internet, he will respond to you. Write him with any question. He just knows what everyone’s going through, you know?

Man, Judaism is really wild!